What Actually Helped My Own Recovery
My favourite journalling exercise and a personal share on what actually helped my own recovery process.
When I was going through my own recovery process from an eating disorder years ago, I decided at some point to sit down and write as though I could write from the part of me that believed recovery was possible. Truthfully, I cannot remember if this idea came specifically from someone supporting me at that time or not (if you read this and it was you, please lmk so I can give credit!!); nonetheless, it ended up being an important key in my process. It looked a few different ways throughout those years.
I am sharing it with you now with the hope that it reminds you of your own you: the part of you that is not your eating disorder, that part of you that is always there, always with you, and always fighting for you – even when it may not feel this way. And for those moments when perhaps you do feel alone, or the well-meaning and caring sentiments of those in your life are unable to reach you in the way you need most, perhaps the words that came through me can remind you of the same force that is inside you too. The part of you that chooses to continue to take steps towards recovery, to nourish yourself, and reach out for connection and help.
I can remember many moments throughout my process of recovery, feeling like an incredibly lonely experience. Even under the best of circumstances, there were certainly times when the most genuine extensions of kindness and empathy just could not soften the walls I had built around myself. There were also times when these walls were raised so high, they kept me from myself. It is the moment I stopped trying to shatter them that they began to soften. This process of healing was both gradual and monumental.
Now, as a clinician, it’s something I often work with clients around: connecting to this support within you (or perhaps within and beyond us all – depending on your belief system), in whatever way resonates most for you personally. For me, it was writing; others could be art, music, dance, sculpture, poetry, truly anything that brings you into that zone of receiving. I remember sitting down in a particularly challenging moment, and some other voice just pouring through me onto the page. I read back what I had written, and it helped. I would do this again and again, through those years. I am of the belief and opinion that there is always a part of us that wants to be free and well, and knows that this is possible. Sometimes, the more we can give a voice to this, the more it can strengthen and support us. So, this is my invitation to you, choose your favourite medium (art, writing, poetry – it can truly be anything), and see what comes through if you imagine you are creating from the essence of you that wants to be well. What would this part of you say, express, or offer?
