What Does Eating Disorder Recovery Look Like After Treatment?

 Oftentimes, we’re told that the way to heal from an eating disorder is to regulate our eating, and to shift our beliefs around our body, food, exercise, all of these things. And while that is a piece of the process, it’s not the whole picture.

 At the same time, I want to be careful here, because everyone is very different. We all need different layers of support through different seasons of life.

 For some, these patterns of behaviour, thought, and overall state, not even just emotional state, but the co-creation of thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, form a pattern/state of being. This is where an eating disorder is often just one expression of something more foundational.

 So we might shift our relationship to food through regulating eating and working on beliefs around food and body and nourishment. Those are important pieces of the puzzle. But often, there are roots underneath.

 It can be confronting when we feel out of control in our lives. Control is talked about a lot in eating disorder recovery, but sometimes it’s discussed at a surface level. What I often see is that it’s not so much about control itself, but about agency. When we don’t feel a sense of agency or autonomy in our lives, we may grasp for something, anything, that gives us a sense of having a say, having a voice. We can also see where control and safety become linked: if I keep a grasp on x, y, and z, I will be ok.

 There can also be a very real existential layer here. This is where existential psychotherapy can come into the picture in a supportive way, because we live inside structures that can create an illusion of control, safety, and predictability. And yet, the reality is that uncertainty is part of being alive.

 There is no way to be 100% certain that a relationship will last forever. There is no way to be 100% certain that we’ll get the job we want or get into the school we hope for. We are faced with uncertainty daily, often in very subtle, ordinary ways.

 When these underlying patterns aren’t explored, if they’re present, what I often notice is that the coping simply shifts. Maybe food restriction is no longer there, but rigidity shows up in work or school. Maybe there’s a certain rigidity in movement or exercise that starts to toe the line. It can become genuinely hard to discern: is this healthy, or is this not?

 What we’re often told is “healthy” is actually very different from person to person. That relational process of getting to know yourself, your body, your season of life, your needs, is essential. And it’s something many people aren’t empowered with, especially in a world full of loud opinions and prescriptive advice.

 So, what does eating disorder recovery look like after treatment?

 It often looks like exploring some of these underlying roots and patterns. It’s like a tree. A tree doesn’t have just one root going straight down into the ground. It has a network, a root system, that even communicates with other trees in the forest.

 In the same way, our strategies and patterns are connected to our past, our present, our future, our relationships, our roles, our work, our sense of self.

 Recovery, then, can involve working with these pieces so that you become paradoxically more incontrol as you step into a bit more awareness and agency in your relationship to self with a lot of compassion. There is a kind of truth-telling compassion that matters deeply in this process. Because we’re all human. We all cope. Sometimes our coping looks obviously unhealthy, and sometimes it looks very socially accepted, and can still be just as unhealthy.

 That’s where curiosity comes in. And that’s where exploring some of these deeper layers can be incredibly supportive, ultimately supporting you towards greater freedom, self-trust, and peace.